My Last Became My First…

5 Doller Bill

Two days ago, a long journey after ‘having it all’… stable… or so I thought… and being what some people might consider successful…

With decisions I had to make to better myself, health and well-being

costs of money, time, emotions and comfort…

I came into a dilemma I hadn’t ever been in before in my life.

No health, no job, no money… except a $5 bill in my pocket.

“how could this happen to me….”

“What a failure I look like…”

“Cannot believe this is happening…”

” Aren’t good things suppose to happen when you do the ‘right’ decision?”

” Should I give up…”

These are words that trailed over and over in my head. Nothing but anger, resentment, and sadness filled me.

Then I thought of those before me, who NEVER ever had anything.

Who only ever started with a single $5 bill. People such as my Austrian Grandfather; who as of recent has been in and out of the hospital.

I don’t know how, or what thought interrupted which one first, but it kind of went like this…

If this $5 bill is my last, and was a marking of the end of one journey, could it not be the marking of a new one?

I was thinking of this of more than just money, success, or anything superficial but more of an attitude adjustment and how to view things that come my way.

Glass half full or Empty?

A dooming end or a fresh start?

Failure? or an awakening to what matters in life

Why me? Well… I’m glad it’s me and not someone who would give up.

Maybe it’s a lesson I can show someone else.



noun: beginning; plural noun: beginnings
the point in time or space at which something begins.

One thought on “My Last Became My First…

  1. and Tracey, you are blessed that you even have that $5.00 to begin a new journey with. You are blessed that you have family and friends who will be with you every step on your new journey. You are blessed that you have people around you who have been on their own journey before you; who know the pitfalls and will support you when you find your pitfalls. Your are blessed that you are loved by a wonderful God who has claimed you as one of his children. He will do anything for you. And, you are loved. You are loved more than you realize and more than you think you deserve. You are loved ❤

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